Wedding Supplies

A special blessing

A procession ceremony begins early the morning of the day of the wedding.  This ceremony is referred to as “Hae Khun Mag” or “Haih Khun Maak.”  The groom leads the ceremony, as he and the guests bring food and gifts to the bride’s family.  Next, the groom’s family, friends and associates follow.  The procession ends with the playing of a very lively song called “Ram Klong Yao.”  This popular song is always played during an important Thai festivity.

Once at the bride’s home, the groom must cross through the silver and gold gates.  The bride’s female relatives block two doors with necklaces and chains.  They won’t move for the groom until he pays them with either money or gifts.  He must pay even more to pass through the golden gate.  After he passes through the two doors, he will finally be allowed to enter the house where his bride will be waiting for him.  At this time, there may be a foot washing ceremony, where the bride washes the groom’s feet to show her allegiance to him.  She will then thank him for the money and gifts he gave her family.

Many Thai weddings have a Buddhist ceremony.  Nine Monks will come to the house to deliver a blessing and then will have lunch together. 

Later that afternoon is the main part of the wedding, called ROD-NAM-SANG, or the “Shell Ceremony.”  Both families come together to watch the couple as they give their vows and receive their blessings.  The couple sits close together on the floor with a flower chain connecting their hands. The parents of the bride and groom will soak the couple’s hands in water and wish them good luck. The water is contained in a conch shell container (ROD is soak, NAM is water, and SANG is conch shell).  Usually, only selected people like close friends and close relatives will be invited to this event.

Finally, once all of the customs have been completed, it’s time to party!!  On the same night, between 100-300 guests are invited to a large dinner.  This celebration is filled with a lot of music, dancing, and most of all fun.  Please do not dress in black as this is reserved for a sad event like a funeral and many Thais view this as a sign of bad luck to the couple.

Although many of these traditions have changed through the years.  Thai weddings remain a special occasion that are sure to be not only entertaining but memorable.

wedding accessories to complete your wedding reception

               Many a bride struggles with finding that something special that will separate her wedding day from everyone else’s. Statistics show that in 2008, 2,208,000 people got married. How can you possibly compete with a number like that and expect that your wedding will dramatically different?

                Financially speaking, the bigger the wedding reception, the more it’s going to cost just for the bare necessities. The fancier everything is; from invitations to flowers to the numerous other wedding accessories, the more expensive your wedding will be. Then, of course you’ll need entertainment, a photographer and lots of food. All this adds up quickly and you may still not have anything truly out of the ordinary.

                There are always things you can do to make a memorable wedding reception for your guests. I say your guests because everything about your wedding should be special to you, the bride and groom. Sometimes it’s an out of the ordinary favor. Sometimes it’s a really great band. Maybe you’ll have a champagne fountain, (of course that probably depends on your budget). What about the photography?

                Is there something out of the ordinary that you can do here? People often put a disposable camera on some or all of the guest tables. It’s a great way to get candids of your family and friends because after all, the photographer can’t be everywhere at the same time. Videos of the reception are very common as well and fun for the bride and groom to watch the next day.

While both of these make great memories for the bride and groom, why not do something that your “audience” will love too? A wonderful way to accomplish this is to make a video for the guests to watch sometime during the reception. Make a video comprised of pictures from both the bride and groom’s childhood and through the years until they met. Then incorporate pictures of their courtship up until just before the wedding. Set it to the music of your choice and you’re good to go! Something like this really makes a great impact. For people who only really know the bride or the groom, it’s a good way to introduce the other. It can be entertaining and funny and don’t be surprised if you see some teary-eyed guests. This option is one that definitely sets the tone for a great reception full of good times, fond memories and future blessings.

Filipinos are known to have some of the most beautiful wedding ceremonies in the world.  Because their culture so strongly believes in the sanctity of marriage, they make sure the wedding is an unforgettable event.

This sacred bond between the bride and groom begins with the “pamamanhikan,” or “the meeting of the two families.”  Traditionally the groom and his family pay a visit to the bride’s family to “collectively” ask for her hand in marriage.  Pamamanhikan is the event where two sets of parents come together to make plans for the future.  Guest list, budget, and food choices are just some of the topics that will be discussed at this meeting.

 Many years ago, the traditional ceremony would last for three days.  Although this custom has changed drastically over the centuries others remain the same.  These days there are special guests asked to act as witnesses to the marriage.  People like godparents, aunts, and uncles or even a parent might be amongst those asked to honor this request.  Sometimes there are even secondary sponsors, who handle a specific task.  A veil sponsor is someone who places a veil over the bride’s head and the groom’s shoulder.  This act is done to “clothe” them as one.  Another sponsor will light the candles that the couple uses to light one single candle to symbolize their union. A final custom, needing the assistance of a sponsor, is the draping of the cord or “yugal.”  In this tradition, a decorative silk cord is draped over the shoulders of the couple.  It is tied into a figure eight shape, which is believed to yield eternal fidelity.  One particular tradition specific to the couple is driven by the groom. He gives his bride thirteen coins blessed by the priest.  These coins symbolize the groom’s dedication to his bride and their future children.  This sign of respect is to let her know that he will provide for her and their children.

 Now, what to wear…  Well, Western culture has once again influenced fashion and white gowns are a very popular choice amongst most Filipino brides.  Historically brides wore dresses with festive designs or one reflective of a certain season.  For the groom, the traditional formal wear is called a Barong Tagalog.  This is worn, un-tucked, with a white shirt underneath and a pair of black pants.

The absolute best part of the entire affair is the feast afterwards.  This elaborate event consists of soups, a variety of meats, vegetables, fruits and desserts.  Make sure you bring your appetite because you certainly won’t go home hungry.     

Filipino Cord and Veil Ceremony

Generally couples feel extremely honored by the presence of those who attend their wedding.  This couldn’t hold more, true than in the Indonesian culture.  As a matter of fact, the bride and groom will send an invitation to anyone and everyone they know, even if they are a mere acquaintance or simply visiting the area for a short time.  Although most acquaintances won’t show up, there could still be hundreds if not thousands of guests in attendance.  They especially like having some foreigners there.  Guests not native to Indonesia are believed to be very prestigious.  Believe it or not, a majority of the guests are only invited to the wedding reception, not the wedding.  Imagine feeding and entertaining thousands!!!

The wedding ceremony itself, which can last for several days, is reserved for close friends and family only.  Rituals followed during the wedding ceremony vary from region to region.  A bathing ceremony is one traditional custom.  One ritual involves the gathering of the families so that the groom and his relatives can give presents to the bride’s family.  Another special custom is the kneeling ceremony.  During this event, the couple kneels in front of their parents in order to receive blessings.  While kneeling, they ask their parents’ forgiveness for any wrongdoings they may have done in the past.  During the formal ceremony, a religious rite is given based on the couple’s religious belief.  According to local law, couples from different religious backgrounds are not allowed to marry unless one changes his or her religion.   

Getting back to the reception…. the dress code will depend on the time of day and location of the event.  For a more casual affair, men will wear a long sleeved batik shirt and women a casual dress or slacks and shirt.  For a more formal, evening event, it is appropriate for men to wear a suit.  Indonesian women usually wear regional outfits in bright colors and adorned with their finest gold jewelry. 

Indonesian weddings are viewed as very special occasions.  If you happen to be around and available, Indonesian couples will feel very blessed that you took the time out of your busy schedule to show up, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

Capture the spirit of the season you marry in

Winter time weddings usually breed winter themed weddings, including location, (probably indoors), decorations and possibly your selection of a favor. I went to a December wedding once where the couple gave each female guest two ornate glass Christmas ornaments. I suspect they were pricy because they were in boxes from an upscale department store. I certainly understand the relevancy here, but if the majority of your guests don’t celebrate Christmas, (and you are aware of this fact), then I’d suggest something else; something more appropriate for the general public.

Spring weddings tend to lend themselves to a few more options than winter weddings. Depending on the month, you can have a portion or all of wedding reception outdoors. You’ll have a variety of flowers to choose from. You can find lots of wedding supplies geared towards the spring months, including holidays like St. Patrick’s Day. You may also get a better turn out of out of town guests. People are less averse to traveling if in climate weather isn’t an issue.

Daytime or nighttime weddings are both good choices in the summer. I would suggest lighter colors and lighter weight dresses for the bridesmaids. People will get antsy quickly if they have to spend an hour on formal pictures outside in a black gown in the middle of August! If your reception is going to be outside, make sure the tables are under tents or that there is some form of shade. If it’s going to be indoors, make sure the reception hall has air conditioning.

Fall and harvest type themes speak volumes in the fall months. If you’re into the yellows, oranges and browns, then fall is the right season for you. It should be relatively easy to provide an elegant setting or whatever setting you want with the changing of leaf colors. Corn stalks and scarecrows are great if they’re utilized in the proper setting. If your wedding is early enough in the fall season, you may be able to have cocktail hour outside.

No matter what month you pick to marry in, just try to make sure that you are in sync with the season. You can certainly do what you want to do, but if your hearts’ desire is to have a clambake for the food, I’d stick with the summer months. It might seem a little odd to eat steamers and lobster in many places in January. Of course you could always have a destination wedding to the Caribbean or some other exotic place where it’s pretty much always summer.  Ah, but that’s a whole separate topic!

Subtle yet elegant is a good bet for wedding jewelry

Silver and gold jewelry have been available for forever and a day. But what about your day? What will look best with the style of dress you’ve chosen for you and for your bridesmaids? Is everyone’s hair up or down? This is important for picking the right earrings; dangling or studs. Necklaces will depend on the neckline of the dress. If it has an open neck you can choose the length of the necklace based on how low cut the neck line is. If any of the dresses have a very high or closed neck, a necklace or chain may be pointless, because it probably won’t be seen. The same holds true for bracelets. A bracelet of sorts will definitely stand out with short sleeved, sleeveless or tank top style dresses. But they’ll most likely go unnoticed and hidden behind long sleeves.

There are certainly plenty of options out there to choose from, including some very elaborate hand made wedding jewelry. Whatever your preference is, whether it’s gold, silver, platinum, pearls or something else, the key is consistency. If your bridesmaids are all wearing the same dress and same basic hair do’s, then you should keep their style and quantity of wedding jewelry the same, (or at least similar), as well. The bride has more flexibility in her own jewelry because she is, after all, the center of attention! No matter what your desired look for the day is, elegant, simple, classic, sassy or trendy, you’ll choose your jewelry style, (if any at all), accordingly. The right wedding jewelry will get noticed by guests and add just the right touch of class to the bridal party’s ensemble.

Cut into your new life with a beautiful cake server set

                I imagine that most women, if not all women, fanaticize about their wedding day.

words of wisdom you can treasure long after your wedding day

From an early age, a teenager or younger, we begin to imagine our Prince Charming and living happily ever after. Of course everything is perfect because when we use our imagination, anything is possible. But in reality, we know that there’s always room for error or mishap. Prince Charming may look slightly different than we’d pictured and our chances for a fairy tale marriage are slim. Still we can reach for the moon while proceeding cautiously.

                When it comes time to actually plan and execute your dream wedding, you have nothing short of high expectations from anyone and everyone involved. If it starts to fall apart, don’t you fall apart. Drama can be imminent during the planning stage, just by virtue of the number of people that might be involved. But you cannot just call off the wedding and write it off as a bad experience. You must combat the drama with a positive and calm can-do attitude. Even if it means taking a step back to reassess something or someone, make your decisions for the right reason and then stand behind them. Even the most well planned wedding receptions can have a minor flaw or two.

                Against all odds for a perfect wedding is the first thing that comes to my mind when I recall a friends’ wedding. She was so excited to be marrying the man of her dreams, (and he was pretty close to Prince Charming all right!) She ironed out all the details early on with the intention of avoiding last minute stress as much as possible. Things were going great, for a while.

One of her bridesmaids lived in another state. Money was an issue for this woman, so my friend offered to pay for her dress and plane ticket to lessen her expenses, thus allowing her to be in the wedding party. A couple of months before the wedding, they got into an argument over something so trivial that my friend didn’t even consider it a true argument. The other woman saw it as something completely different and decided not to be in the wedding. In fact, she decided not even to come to the wedding. But here’s the kicker; she didn’t bother to tell my friend any of this! As time went on and she wasn’t returning phone calls, (no email back then), my friend took the hint. It was much too late to find a replacement bridesmaid, so she resigned to the fact that there would be an uneven wedding party. This was ultimately resolved by having one of the bridesmaids walk down the aisle with two ushers. She wasn’t thrilled about this, but it was better than asking for a stand in at the last minute, (when clearly the woman would know she was not the first round draft pick!)

                Okay, minor glitch, no big deal, right? Then comes the bachelorette party. Everyone’s having a great time until one of the bridesmaids goes MIA! She was with the group dancing one minute and gone the next. Everyone was drunk and went back to the hired van to pass out. This left only the bride to sober up and find her missing friend. She had a police officer helping her and the chauffeur of the van waited patiently for 2 hours. Finally, my friend gave up her search after retracing all their steps and decided to get everyone else home before anything else bad happened. Needless to say, she was upset and frightened for  the safety of her friend. She ended up paying the overage for the van and the additional tip out of her own pocket. She called the woman’s house a few hours later to find that she’d made it home safely. Somehow she felt it necessary to blame the bride for her disappearing act and proceeded to treat her very poorly for the remainder of the engagement. The bride had to track her down at work two days before the wedding because she had no idea where she was supposed to be and when. She was just plain mean to my friend on the phone. She showed up late for the rehearsal and at dinner she dismissed the bride’s attempt to resolve and rectify the misunderstanding by saying “now’s not the time. You should focus on your wedding and we’ll discuss this later.”  The next day, she showed up late to get her hair done and barely spoke to anyone. She may as well have not even been there. During the reception she got into a fight with her boyfriend and guess who consoled her while she cried in the lady’s room? Yup, the bride! My friend thought at least that would break the ice to get their friendship back on track. But as the star of the show, she couldn’t spend all night in the bathroom, so she rejoined the party with the idea they would make up later that night. But at some point after dinner, the woman left the reception without so much as a goodbye to anyone; including the bride and groom! They’ve never spoken since.

                While the bride-to-be was dealing with all this drama, she tried to focus on the positive. The day the bridesmaids dresses came in, my friend rushed down there only to find that the maid of honor’s dress was a completely different color…the wrong color! They bridal shop said they would send it back but could not guarantee that the replacement would make it with only three weeks until the wedding. She thought she better not risk it, so she kept the dress. Fortunately, it was a color that did not clash with the chosen color. Since it was the maid of honor, she figured she could play it like it was intentionally different. The dress also had to be taken it because from the time the dresses were ordered, the maid of honor had lost a significant amount of weight. The dress was literally about five sizes too big!

                Great, another tragedy averted she thought. It should’ve been smooth sailing from there, but of course it wasn’t! She soon found out that her grandfather could not attend her wedding because he was very ill with cancer. He was too weak to make the trip. This made her very sad, but of course he was there with her in spirit! In addition to this and to her bridesmaid that was completing ignoring and avoiding her, she had another wrench thrown into the works. Her otherwise very healthy Prince Charming came down with pneumonia a couple of weeks before the wedding! He was sick as a dog and was just barely recovered by the big day! Oh, and did I mention that his mother basically abandoned her family a couple of years earlier and he didn’t even want to invite her to the wedding? Well the bride, being “politically correct”, said she had to be invited and that he needed to put his feelings for his mother aside for the sake of a peaceful wedding. She came, they danced, and she too left the reception at some point without saying goodbye! What a kick in the pants!

                The good news is that my friend managed to still be a happy bride and everything else fell into its respective place. She’s down two so-called friends, but happily married for 14 years. Have you figured out yet that my friend is actually me? True story!

Have a favor that's a real show stopper

The great thing about a wedding and wedding reception is that every last “piece of the puzzle” is hand- picked by you, right down to the very last detail. Your wedding day and all that transpires during it is a reflection of you and your spouse. There aren’t a lot of things in life that can mimic that. So when you’re deciding what type of cake you’ll have and what will be served for dinner, don’t overlook the more trivial items that can really set your wedding apart. Your wedding favor is an opportunity to spotlight your personality. And choosing a favor should be fun. It shouldn’t be a daunting task on the mile long checklist.  

                I’ve been to a number of weddings and I’ve seen all sorts of favors; everything from assorted alcohol nips, (definitely appropriate for that wedding and that couple), to candles to scratch tickets. When you think about it, what really sticks with people about a wedding reception? You’ll remember the food if it was really good, (or really bad), and you’ll probably recall, through pictures and memory, how beautiful, (hopefully), the bride looked. But what else stands out in your mind? I’ve found that I remember what the wedding favor was, but only at weddings where it appeared to have some significance or bearing on the couple. By this I mean that anyone can put a votive candle in a holder and guests are happy to receive a practical take home souvenir from the occasion. But it takes thought and perhaps some creativity to come up the really great favors. The point of the scratch tickets was so that this couple’s guests could be as “lucky” as they were that day. Lucky in love and lucky in money. (Perhaps to be able to pay off the reception!) Another great idea was a donation made by the bride and groom on behalf of each guest to a charitable organization. The specific organization was picked because a loved one, unable to attend the wedding, was battling a particular disease. The couple wanted to show their love and affection for this person by somehow including him/her in the celebration.

                My wedding favor was silly, rather than serious. Nevertheless, it was a direct reflection of me and my relationship with my husband. One week after we started dating, there was an “incident” involving the candy M&M’s. I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say that this bizarre incident played a part in defining our relationship. It was significant enough to be part of our wedding day 2 ½ years later. Our wedding favor was a brandy snifter filled with M&M’s and tied up with pretty netting and a ribbon. I came up with this idea because the candy was significant to me, (and really, who doesn’t like M&M’s!) and I wanted to give people something they could utilize as well. A brandy snifter seemed to be a good fit because once the candy was gone, the glass could be used to drink brandy, (or whatever your choice of beverage), or made into a home for a small plant or flower petals. I know that a lot of our guests ate the M&M’s during the reception and thanked me for the special treat. And those who know the true meaning of this particular favor thought it was just perfect! I always think of that incident when I eat M&M’s. I still love M&M’s and eat way too many of them once I get my hands on some!